Saturday, December 18, 2010

Today must be the most heartbreaking day ever.

I slept at 3.30am and got woke up by my mom at 5.30am... She told me that bbk is swelling very badly... ad they are bringing her to the doc now... I heard bbk crying... So I went down after a few minutes of cooling down... Bbk was in my mom's arms... I did not wear my specs, so I went nearer...

and the next moment... I burst into tears.... bbk's cute face was swollen... her eyes became very small I couldn't not recognise her... I broke down... my sis was crying too.... bbk was very tired... felt so helpless.... she wasnt the baby we all knew... they went out and I went back to my room... I can't stop crying.... I was super worried... my heart shattered... I called yy 40 times... but he did not wake up, I called a couple of friends because I really needed someone... Xinyi is the only one who got woke up.... she consoled me n I felt much better...

I told myself... no matter how bbk look now, she is still my precious baby...

she might not be my child, but I can't even imagine myself without her... since the day she is born, she has become the centre of my life... everytime I feel low... the only person in this world who can make me smile.... I couldn't eve imagine sharing my love with her sister or with my future own child....

All I can do is pray... I prayed to dbg... I told him to bless bbk...

They came after 2 hours... and the doc say bbk's body is not reactin well with her chicken pox...

so it makes her swollen...

I went to iluma... my sister fetched me... she cant take care bbk or go near her cos she is pregnant.. I uds how she feel... I can see she is tryin to stay positive... All my mind is filled w bbk...until I receive news that her face is not so swollen anymore... I cried on the spot...

But during evening, my mom called, I asked her how is bbk... she said the swelling is back again...

My heart broke again....

Finally I reached home... And saw her... her face is not so swollen anymore...

I am staying over at my sis house to acc her... Sleeping in bbk's room... I could feel her right with me... heart filled with emotios and I cant even type proper english....

I hope she will recover her soon... I love her so much... love my family so much I dont them to suffer....

Natsuki bought another stitch item 12/18/2010 11:46:00 PM

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Friday, December 17, 2010

Scoopies will be at Iluma again tml. But I'm eggcited at all. The main reason is because bbk is down with chicken pox. I had my vaccine when I am 12 and the doc told me that I don't have to get vaccine again. Bbk is staying at our house because my sister cannot get close to her. I see her face having more and more pox everyday. And today, she have red patches and swollen limbs, we are suspecting that she is allergic to her itch-free medicine. I am very worried and heartbroken... her cute face!!! T-T is now covered with red dots.... The swollen limbs are also very scary... why does she keep getting sick!!! It is so unfair to a baby... she still remains energetic and fools around, but I just feel like crying when I see her! I wanna avoid seeing her but my mom will not be ale to handle her alone...

To make things worse, I can't connect to internet, I am actually tethering with my iphone... I don't know if I should call starhub for the FIFTH time to call them to come down to check since bbk is having pox... it wouldn't be nice if I still call the person down. But if I really don't like the feeling of a lingering unsolved problem... Iphone tethering is not a soltion because it might just surpass 12gb is I on pps all day... I totally lost my mood to do anything for the arts market tml... worried!!!!

I'm also afraid that my mom will contract pox again, although she had once already... but I know it is possible to get the 2nd time... I don't dare to think what will happen if my mom got it...

Xmas is coming but life is sooooo freaking yucky!

I really feel like self-destroying myself~

Natsuki bought another stitch item 12/17/2010 09:01:00 PM

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